listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Randomize
