she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
