she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
