She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
