sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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