ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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