I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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