weddingsv make me drug and hornr
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
