I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
they need to just BURY HIM!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
This is classic penis vs brain.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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