He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
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Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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