it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
