Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
