Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
