before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
