Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
