wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize