Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
