i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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