Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I am never drinking with the goths again.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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