I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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