I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
15 Things That Could NEVER Happen Anywhere But the South
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
15 Times “Flight of the Conchords” Made You Feel Better About Being a Twenty-Something
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH