hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle