You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i permit you to call me
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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