we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize
