Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.

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  (503): Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck. http://tfl.nu/nubl
  Replies (11) Good night (666) Bad night (1381)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?

  (1-251): View more from Alabama

  Why are you in my underwear drawer?

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  (251): Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer? (1-251): Why are you in my underwear drawer? http://tfl.nu/y2d4
  Replies (15) Good night (4641) Bad night (1033)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.

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  (630): That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims. http://tfl.nu/e1gu
  Replies (10) Good night (4964) Bad night (572)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.

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  (405): I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny. http://tfl.nu/uleh
  Replies (30) Good night (5716) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!

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  (443): just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?! http://tfl.nu/h1we
  Replies (13) Good night (6724) Bad night (1107)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl

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  (785): says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl http://tfl.nu/t2ss
  Replies (3) Good night (2088) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?

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  (917): Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night? http://tfl.nu/29mg
  Replies (11) Good night (3802) Bad night (1376)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though

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  (406): I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though http://tfl.nu/qgj2
  Replies (1) Good night (1623) Bad night (770)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?

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  (403): In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong? http://tfl.nu/dmf6
  Replies (7) Good night (1583) Bad night (654)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.

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  (731): You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely. http://tfl.nu/nb0c
  Replies (9) Good night (559) Bad night (1355)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.

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  (336): Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings. http://tfl.nu/e4bs
  Replies (6) Good night (973) Bad night (683)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.

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  (918): If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off. http://tfl.nu/c8gb
  Replies (8) Good night (983) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries

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  (865): I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries http://tfl.nu/egp0
  Replies (2) Good night (343) Bad night (658)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.

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  (240): He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at. http://tfl.nu/i197
  Replies (5) Good night (655) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange

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  (585): So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange http://tfl.nu/waj5
  Replies (5) Good night (468) Bad night (369)

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