Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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