I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
