i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
