You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
wow bdsm is so cute
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My life is pants optional.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
