Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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