he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
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seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
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I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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