I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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