Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
How's work?
Spinning.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
