Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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