Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Randomize
