Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
