dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
