Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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