ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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