I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
