I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
