I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
