I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
