For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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