what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
