There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
