my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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