if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
