ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Randomize
