i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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