How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
