I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
