idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
