Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
