If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
