i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god was she eating orange peels again
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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