I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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