TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
