he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she smelled like a LAN party
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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