How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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