i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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