I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
How's work?
Spinning.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
