I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
