We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
