Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
