i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
