I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
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And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
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did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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