honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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