Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
