4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Randomize
