Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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