I can tuck mytits in my pants
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
