Where is the hickey?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Randomize