I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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