Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
