Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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