im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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